Cycle Paper 1

He was the light at the end of my tunnel, the reason I'd waking up every morning, my inspiration, my hope, my everything. They say the best proof of love is trust, something we were both lacking. He told me no one could ever compare, as convincing he was, it was hard to believe he genuinely cared. Our love was like a game of tug of war; it hurt so bad to hold on, yet for some reason, I couldn't find it in me to let go. He told me he loved me, and even though I denied it, I knew I loved him back. We went through more together in those few months than most people go through in a lifetime. We survived through the tears, the laughs, and the despair, only to find that when it came down to it, we didn’t stand a chance.

It's amazing how one day someone walks into your life, and you can't even begin to remember how you ever lived without them. It kills me to think that after all that, after everything we went through, he was gone; and probably never coming back. He said "together forever" but I guess forever has taken up a new meaning. There was something about him though, that made me fall. Maybe it was the belief that he'd always be there to catch me, or maybe it was because he loved me, above all.

Not a day goes by that I don't miss him, or think about what could've been. I often find myself thinking, wishing, hoping, and longing, to feel his embrace once again. Too often in life, we take the people we love for granted, and despair only when they're gone. Too often we take advantage of people and things, because of the thought that they'll always be there.

I can honestly say I owe him my life, because although he hurt me worse than anybody ever has, he taught me that life is about trusting your feelings and taking a chance. It's about losing and finding happiness, appreciating the memories and learning from the past, and realizing people always change. To let go isn't to forget, not think about, or ignore. It shouldn't leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn't winning, nor is it losing. It's not about pride, it's not about obsessing about the past, it's not giving up. Letting go isn't about loss, and it's not defeat. To let go is to still hold those onto the good memories, but to move on as well. Letting go is having the courage to accept change and have the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up.